{"id":3276,"date":"2024-12-02T11:46:56","date_gmt":"2024-12-02T16:46:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ebling.library.wisc.edu\/corpus-callosum\/?p=3276"},"modified":"2024-12-02T11:46:56","modified_gmt":"2024-12-02T16:46:56","slug":"lets-go-together","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/ebling.library.wisc.edu\/corpus-callosum\/lets-go-together\/","title":{"rendered":"Let\u2019s Go Together"},"content":{"rendered":"

Nicholas Gallo, MD<\/em>
\nUW Hospital, Internal Medicine<\/em>
\n2024<\/em>
\nShort story<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cNick, get out of the car.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNick, you have to get out of the car.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo. No. No. You can\u2019t make me. I don\u2019t want to go!\u201d<\/p>\n

My dad crossed his arms, stepped back, and watched as I entangled my body within the seatbelt of our purple Dodge Grand Caravan. Like an environmental activist chained to their favorite tree, I was not going to budge. I glared back at him and shot a frown in his direction as I tightened my grasp. New experiences have overwhelmed me for as long as I can remember. What if I\u2019m not any good? I don\u2019t know any of these kids. What if I don\u2019t make any friends? The world is full of new and scary things, like tee-ball practice.<\/p>\n

But this was not my dad\u2019s first rodeo. He learned from experience that the use of force would just result in a big, messy scene. Grabbing me by the ankles, he would suspend me in the air while I lashed out violently. My Dennis the Menace blonde bowl cut would shake with each protesting scream until at last a five-year-old\u2019s grip strength would fail. Drenched in sweat, snot, and tears no one would win. After many battles like this, my dad learned a different approach using a few magic words that gave me the courage to launch into the unknown. He reached out his hand and pleaded with me, \u201cCome on Nick. I\u2019ll be here the whole time. Let\u2019s go together.\u201d<\/p>\n

Thirty years later I am no longer afraid of tee ball, but I still feel anxious about new experiences. A career in medicine has forced me to tackle this fear head on. Both medical school and residency are fraught with new experiences. Along my journey, I\u2019ve relied on countless mentors, friends, and loved ones to both literally and figuratively hold my hand along the way. Now, just as others have done for me, it has become my role as a physician to walk with patients and their loved ones as they navigate new, frightening experiences with disease and the healthcare system.<\/p>\n

This realization became evident to me working overnight as a cross-covering intern. I was paged to Mr. B\u2019s room to evaluate a surgical site from a procedure done earlier that day. He was initially admitted for weakness and unremitting bloody urine caused by newly diagnosed bladder cancer. From the door Mr. B resembled a ghost. His skin ashen, eyes half closed with deep bags underneath. Hanging from the bedside was a urine bag filled with sanguine liquid and a foley catheter snaking under his covers.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey Mr. B, I\u2019m doctor Gallo. You can just call me Nick. Your surgical site looks fine. I\u2019ll make sure your team takes a close look again in the morning. How are you doing?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2019m here doc. I could be better.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI hear you. I\u2019m sure it\u2019s been a rough go. Is there anything I can do for you tonight?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you think you help me sleep? I\u2019ve been in here for fifty days and I don\u2019t think I\u2019ve had a good night of sleep yet. I keep getting confused and I\u2019m just so tired.\u201d I found out while digging through his chart he had been in the hospital for fifty-five days. This was the third procedure performed by the interventional radiology team in an attempt to stop a bleeding blood vessel related to his cancer. The first two had failed and only time would tell how this third procedure would pan out.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet me take a look at your chart to pick something that is safe to try, but I\u2019d like to help you sleep if I can. I\u2019m working overnight for the next two weeks so I can check in tomorrow to see how things are going. Hopefully I just find you asleep.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t count on it, Nick. I\u2019ll see you tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

The following night, I strolled down barren hallways towards Mr. B\u2019s room hoping to find him asleep. His door was ajar, and the lights were on. Eyes sunken in but open. He caught a glimpse of me as I approached. The corner of his mouth curled upward, and he gave me a smirk before addressing me. \u201cYour sleeping pills are shit.\u201d<\/p>\n

I couldn\u2019t help but return the smile. \u201cThere are some other things we could try.\u201d I only managed part of my reply before he interjected.<\/p>\n

He raised up his right hand to stop me short. \u201cIt\u2019s alright doc I\u2019m tired of taking pills. I really don\u2019t want any more meds.\u201d His initial teasing tone shifted. \u201cThis whole thing seems hopeless. I don\u2019t know what\u2019s going to happen.\u201d<\/p>\n

The truth was, I didn\u2019t know what was going to happen either. Fifty-six days into his admission, after multiple attempts to fix his problem, I wondered myself if we were running out of options. I pulled up a chair and sat next to his catheter bag full of what looked like merlot. \u201cI\u2019m sorry Mr. B I don\u2019t know what\u2019s going to happen either.\u201d<\/p>\n

Years ago, when I was scared to go to practice, my dad didn\u2019t promise my worries wouldn\u2019t come true. But he reassured me I wouldn\u2019t have to go through them alone. I thought about how lonely I would feel sitting in a hospital bed day and night for fifty-six days. Loneliness. That was what I saw when I looked at Mr. B.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know what\u2019s going to happen,\u201d I repeated, offering him my hand, \u201cbut let\u2019s go together.\u201d I stopped by Mr. B\u2019s room every evening for the duration of my two weeks working nights. I knew from his chart the procedure had not worked, but we never talked about it. Instead, we talked about a whole lot of nothing. We stopped talking about medicine all together. He described his meals, usually remarking how the hospital food was too cold, too hot, too salty, or not salty enough. He told me about the latest novel he was reading and showed me the exercises physical therapy was having him do using brightly colored bands while in bed. We even watched a portion of one of my favorite movies, Stand by Me<\/em>.<\/p>\n

On my last night shift, Mr. B and I chatted about nothing as usual. There was a pit in my stomach when I told him this would be the last of our late night hang out sessions. I was afraid it would reawake the look of loneliness, but instead he met me with a sincere smile. The bags under his eyes seemed less heavy. In a matter-of-fact way he congratulated me for finishing my nocturnal duties, shook my hand, and said \u201csee ya later kid.\u201d We both knew that wasn\u2019t true.<\/p>\n

I never found out what happened to Mr. B. I moved on to my next rotation and he remained in the hospital. In my heart, I dream of him walking out of the hospital on a bright summer day, absent a foley, on his way to find a meal that is just the right temperature with the proper amount of salt. I cherish the memories from the short but impactful friendship we shared. In the final line of the 1986 movie Stand by Me<\/em> based on Stephen King\u2019s novella The Body<\/em>, the main character says, “I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?” Not all relationships or friendships last forever, but that does not diminish their importance. Life is hard and full of scary, new experiences. It is important to have someone by your side to tell you, \u201cLet\u2019s go together.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Nicholas Gallo, MD UW Hospital, Internal Medicine 2024 Short story   \u201cNick, get out of the car.\u201d \u201cNo!\u201d \u201cNick, you have to get out of the car.\u201d \u201cNo. No. No. You can\u2019t make me. I don\u2019t want to go!\u201d My dad crossed his arms, stepped back, and watched as I entangled my body within the… <\/p>\n

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